Do you remember the days when you could drive to your destination without having to see profane and tactless bumper stickers and decals? I do, and I really miss those days.

Unfortunately for me and everyone else, bumpers and back windshields of 2008 are generally full of less-than-intelligent sayings such as, “My kid is smarter than your kid” or — my all-time favorite — the decals with the lovable Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes urinating on another car company’s logo.

Generally when I see those types of stickers or decals I brush it off because — let’s face it — anyone who has those stickers are trying to prove to themselves their opinion matters. Well, to them I say no. Your opinion means nothing. But they do show a lack of intelligence and lack of respect for other commuters, especially small children.

By now, I’m sure there are some people who strongly disagree with my statements, but think about it for a minute. I was with my mother this past Sunday going to lunch when we got behind a beat-up and dilapidated small truck, with the typical fat tires and jacked-up suspension, which alone is laughable.

The driver had several decals brazenly stating his feelings about the South and women. Now don’t get me wrong, I love a good Southern joke. And I occasionally enjoy a feminist joke, but this wonderful gentleman’s stickers went too far.

I won’t tell you what the sticker said — I tried, and my editor wouldn’t let me — but I thought it was absolutely repulsive.

I want people to understand that while you do have the freedom of speech and expression, a good sense of tact and morality is key for this freedom to work.

To you, Southern gentleman, I say remove the sticker and put something up that truly reflects you better. Something like, “I ride higher so you don’t have to see me.” I think that would be much better.

Now don’t get mad and come to my work and shoot the place up. But take the sticker off and save everyone else’s sense of morality, even though it appears you have none.

For those who still don’t get it, well, I guess you never will. But don’t fret. I have a sticker for you specially made by myself.

It simply says, “Your idiosyncrasies are too copious for my dominion of comprehension.”

Get it?



Noah Chandler is a news reporter for The Cullman Times.

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