CullmanTimes.com - Cullman, Alabama

Opinion

January 11, 2013

COMMENTARY: No Kidding, Biden Deserves Some Respect

For a 70-year-old man, Vice President Joe Biden sure spends an awful lot of time winning the Internet. No other living politician has quite the same ratio of words spoken to memes inspired. Last week's contribution was the patter of joyously weird, occasionally creepy, one-liners he threw off while swearing in the 113th Senate.

"Spread your legs!" He told North Dakota Sen. Heidi Heitkamp's husband. "You're gonna be frisked!"

"Mom, I'll see you in a little bit," he winked to Pennsylvania Sen. Bob Casey's mother (he called all the mothers "mom"). "I hope I'll sneak over and see you."

South Carolina Sen. Tim Scott's brother, a former football player, got this instant classic: "Need any help on your pecs, man, give me a call." Utah Sen. Orrin Hatch's granddaughter was advised: "No serious guys until you're 30." To the brunette alongside New Jersey Sen. Robert Menendez, it was: "You are so pretty. God love you. Holy mackerel." At one point, Biden turned to the crowd in the gallery above. "Anybody else want to be sworn in as a senator today?"

You could no more imagine President Barack Obama delivering these lines — save maybe the "pecs" one — than imagine him eating pork rinds while watching "Two and a Half Men" enfolded in a Snuggie. Obama doesn't do backslapping bonhomie. But people love watching Biden do it. (Have you seen the gif, "This Is How Joe Biden Greets Babies"? Amazing.) That's why the White House website is featuring a petition to let Biden star in his own reality show. It's a good idea, I think. Why don't we call it the 2016 presidential campaign?

Text Only
Opinion
  • EDITORIAL: Gaining a lifetime of success

    The arguments for a deeper investment in the arts for public school children are overwhelmingly favorable. The money is simply not following the logic.

    April 6, 2014

  • EDITORIAL: Gun bill backfires

    State Sen. Scott Beason, a Gardendale Republican, who will soon vacate his seat, is feeling a sense of disappointment that his bill to allow Alabamians to carry loaded handguns in their cars without a concealed weapon permit was shot down this week.

    April 5, 2014

  • EDITORIAL: Above and beyond

    The announcement of the annual Distinguished Citizen and Unsung Heroes recipients by The Cullman Times has revealed another lineup of caring people who go the extra mile in building a better local community.

    April 3, 2014

  • LETTER TO THE EDITOR: Enough is enough, stop child abuse now

    In 2013, 32 children died in Alabama as the direct result of child abuse.

    April 2, 2014

  • EDITORIAL: A chance to lead growth

    In an era that concluded about a generation ago, residents of any average town or city in America had pretty much one destination for shopping.

    April 2, 2014

  • EDITORIAL: Out of date, out of time

    The Alabama State Constitution, one of the nation’s oldest at 113 years old, continues to linger despite a wide range of efforts to completely rewrite the document.

    April 2, 2014

  • EDITORIAL: A private matter on display

    Following the arguments generated by legalized abortion leave many people in this generation walking away from the issue with a sense of confusion.

    April 1, 2014

  • EDITORIAL: Drug policy sensible, needed

    Cullman City School officials’ decision to slow plans for implementing a student drug testing program was reached after a series of public input meetings.

    April 1, 2014

  • Commentary: Why your Facebook friends are so gullible

    These stories aren't real. They're the work of the New Yorker's not-particularly-funny online satirist Andy Borowitz, but many people, not just your gullible Facebook friends, invariably believe them. Sometimes the official state news agencies of global superpowers believe them.

    March 19, 2014

  • news_ryan.jpg COMMENTARY: 8 sly code words and why politicians love them

    When Rep. Paul Ryan, R-Wis., talked about a "real culture problem" in "our inner cities in particular" last week, he wasn't the first American politician to be slammed for using racially coded language to get a point across.

    March 17, 2014 1 Photo