For a 70-year-old man, Vice President Joe Biden sure spends an awful lot of time winning the Internet. No other living politician has quite the same ratio of words spoken to memes inspired. Last week's contribution was the patter of joyously weird, occasionally creepy, one-liners he threw off while swearing in the 113th Senate.
"Spread your legs!" He told North Dakota Sen. Heidi Heitkamp's husband. "You're gonna be frisked!"
"Mom, I'll see you in a little bit," he winked to Pennsylvania Sen. Bob Casey's mother (he called all the mothers "mom"). "I hope I'll sneak over and see you."
South Carolina Sen. Tim Scott's brother, a former football player, got this instant classic: "Need any help on your pecs, man, give me a call." Utah Sen. Orrin Hatch's granddaughter was advised: "No serious guys until you're 30." To the brunette alongside New Jersey Sen. Robert Menendez, it was: "You are so pretty. God love you. Holy mackerel." At one point, Biden turned to the crowd in the gallery above. "Anybody else want to be sworn in as a senator today?"
You could no more imagine President Barack Obama delivering these lines — save maybe the "pecs" one — than imagine him eating pork rinds while watching "Two and a Half Men" enfolded in a Snuggie. Obama doesn't do backslapping bonhomie. But people love watching Biden do it. (Have you seen the gif, "This Is How Joe Biden Greets Babies"? Amazing.) That's why the White House website is featuring a petition to let Biden star in his own reality show. It's a good idea, I think. Why don't we call it the 2016 presidential campaign?