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March 31, 2006

April Fools Day not a big hit in Cullman

By Evan Belanger

It was a "bumper spaghetti harvest." That's what viewers of the British Broadcasting Corporation news show "Panorama" were told on April 1, 1957 in perhaps one of the greatest pranks of all time.

The news broadcast announced that Swiss farmers were enjoying a better than normal "spaghetti crop" that year and included clips of peasants "harvesting" the noodles off trees.

When flooded with phone calls from viewers wanting to know how they could they could grow their own noodles at home, a BBC spokesman instructed them to "place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best."

While The Times does not intend to report any false information as listed above, the semi-holiday seems at least worth noting — or so my editors tell me.

Unfortunately, during "man-on-the-street" interviews Friday, the spirit of April Fools Day seemed all but dead in Cullman.

Of 13 people asked, only two said they were even thinking about playing an April Fools prank.

Of those, only one was really worth publishing.

That came from Megan Songer, an employee at Books-A-Million, who said she is considering adding an extra zero to each purchase made today.

For example, if someone purchases a book for $10, she may tell them to pay $100, just to see their reaction. While she said she doesn't think she'll actually try it, The Times gives her Kudos for keeping the spirit alive.

Fortunately, Megan also said she has a large arsenal of stink bombs for use in her ongoing prank war with her 17-year-old brother.

In the end, with such a dismal pranking response overall, The Times hopes to inspire people for next year with some historical background information:

For starters, few people today actually know where April Fools Day comes from. According to the Website www.wilstar.com, it seems to have evolved simultaneously in many cultures at the same time.

According to most historians, it likely dates back to 1582 when French King Charles IX introduced the Gregorian Calendar, which moved New Years Day from April 1 to Jan. 1.

Unfortunately, communications being what they were then, some people did not get the memo for several years. When they then celebrated the new year on the wrong day, they were called fools and sent on "fools' errands" — also known as pranks.

Things sort of evolved or devolved from there.

Perhaps the most devolved of all comes from Scotland, where, according to the same Website, April Fools Day is actually a two-day event, the second of which is devoted to the "posterior region of the body." It is known as "Taily Day," and the origins of the "Kick Me" sign can be traced back to it.

Growing in severity, another Website, The Museum of Hoaxes, lists a number of modern, large-scale pranks.

One of the best was on April 1, 1996, when Taco Bell Corporation announced it had purchased the Liberty Bell and would henceforth be calling it the "Taco Liberty Bell."

When asked about the purchase during a press conference, then President Clinton's Press Secretary Mike McCurry responded that the Lincoln Memorial had also been sold, but to a different corporation. It would henceforth be known as the Ford-Lincoln-Mercury Memorial.

Other April Fools pranks according the Website included a 1998 announcement by Burger King that it had developed a "Left-handed Whopper." Another came in 1992 when National Public Radio reportedly announced that Richard Nixon was running for re-election. His slogan was said to be, "I didn't do anything wrong, and I won't do it again."

A little closer to home, an April 1998 issue of the New Mexicans for Science and Reason reportedly published an article that stated that the Alabama Legislature was changing the mathematical constant pi from 3.14 to its "Biblical value" of three.

While none of the aforementioned turned out to be true, The Times wishes all who dare a wonderful pranking day and warns readers not to do anything dangerous or illegal.

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