Published: June 18, 2006 12:49 am            

A special day of memories

Son Scott lives in Washington, D.C. He’s really good at what he does in a unique field and the man for whom he works may one day be president of the United States. Chris, his brother, lives there too, splitting his time between a job at Georgetown University and doctoral studies at George Washington. Soon, he’ll marry, adding a beautiful young woman to our family.

Grant, their precocious and unpredictable brother, is almost four, living and loving life as only an innocent child can, opening and re-opening our eyes to the everyday beauties and wonderment of the simplest of new treasures.

I think about those blessings today – Father’s Day — as I count my own shortcomings as a dad, as I appreciate still the survival of a serious health scare, as I think about my own dad whose traits I see emerging in each of my sons.

He was no diplomat, my dad. Nor was he a financial power broker, a giant mover of men, the life of any party or the person to whom any great acclaim was cast.

Yet he was a remarkable example. A simple, but good, man. Decent. Dependable. Honest. Honorable.

Sadly, we never seemed to spend much time together. He was always busy working, trying to make meager ends meet, trying to help us get ahead. Often, he was already at work when I awakened and on many occasions I was already asleep when he returned.

It wasn't the way he wanted it, I'm sure, but it was his path for providing for mom and me.

I was a blessing in their lives, they told me. A dream come true. Though they wanted a family, wartime had been tough, money scarce. The hope of attending college had eluded him because funds weren't available and the thought of feeding another, even tiny, mouth seemed insurmountable.

He was 40, old then, when I arrived as their only child. Only years later did I appreciate their struggle, the why of our moving from apartment to apartment in hopes of bettering our lives, the sacrifices made in hopes of making available opportunities for me that had evaded them, the love I too often took for granted and the memories of simple, but happy, times that become more important with each passing day.

Material things didn't matter much to him. Oh, he beamed with pride every time we got a “new” car. Though not fancy, our apartments and later our house, were always clean and orderly. But mostly his life centered on mom and me and a couple of dogs named Sparky and Skipper.

We played ball some, but mom always reminded me, "Now remember, your dad is older than other boys' dads." We shot baskets on a goal he made and enjoyed together whatever limited athletic success came my way.

We shared family vacations in the mountains or at the beach. We fished a time or two. We talked some. And there was a warm feeling we enjoyed about Christmas and other personal occasions.

Dad was a sentimental fellow. Periodically, I'd catch him brushing back a tear at the sight of our American flag, sounds of a patriotic song or an especially moving tune. I used to think that strange. Now, I'm not ashamed to say, I know those same tears.

What dad did best, I suppose, was love life. Love mom. Love me.

He even helped with my newspaper career.

As a youngster, I covered little league sports, hunting-and-pecking my way to stories on an old manual typewriter every evening on our kitchen table. Dad delivered the stories to the paper each following morning, never missing a single deadline.

We also spent many Sunday mornings as a team, rolling papers for my newspaper route and distributing them together, he driving our car, me sitting on the hood, throwing right and left. Even today, thoughts of mom's special Sunday morning breakfasts that followed linger.

The newspaper connection never left.

Impatiently, I moved out of the house in my late teens. I longed for independence. I had an athletic scholarship and a free apartment in Tuscaloosa's Memorial (Coleman) Coliseum. I had a job. And I suppose I had few fears, realizing their safety net would always be there to catch me in times of possible failure.

Oftentimes at work, I’d leave the office only to find dad's car parked next to mine, usually under a broiling sun. He was there just to visit, to see if I needed anything, to help and, in his own way, to share his pride in my accomplishments, no matter how small.

How much that means today never dawned on me then.

Without really trying, he taught me the meaning of words like honor, truth, integrity, trust, pride, ethics, hard work, dedication and commitment. I know, too, he was proud of me.

And though I may never have told him, I was proud of him.

Never more so than in his last months, more than 30 years ago, when a stroke rendered him almost helpless, taking his voice and essentially his body, but never his spirit nor that twinkle in his piercing blue eyes.

The strength, the faith, the courage he shared during that time of difficulty was remarkable, a memory never to be erased.

So indulge me, please, on this special day.

From a son to his dad, thanks. Thanks for believing, for loving, for sharing, for simply being my dad.

From a dad to his sons, I wish you could have known my dad. Or better yet, I wish he could have known you. And my daily prayer continues to be the kind of giving father to each of you that he was to me.

There is, I have learned, no pride like a father's pride and I am grateful to be surrounded by young men of class and character. Every day is a happy father's day for me.



ä Ed Darling is the publisher of The Cullman Times. His column appears on Thursdays.

        

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